A Doorbell Holocaust

wpid-image-c42fd6c9728780d4e9ae7bdc6042ab77a2c476e3e8698eea98f2acea8e89bf27-v.jpgI don’t like two types of people. Stupid and intolerant. Continue reading

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When You..

..are laughing to something in your head and you can’t stop.

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I love these moments when my brain dares and my fantasy goes ‘wild’.
Usually it hapens in a weird situation, like when I transport my ass with public and I accidentally blank stare at someone’s shoes and then I start to laugh.
It happens at work, when I should say something really clever or fascinating. Instead of that I remember a story what my boss told me in the morning. And I edit it in my head. I am picturing a husband of my boss in red high heels, going outside in the morning because their dog crunched all his shoes and he had no other choice 😀
Or It happens because I want to. It helps me a lot during a stress. Don’t get frustrated. Always when you are pissed off, imagine a crazy situation. It’s a therapy. Like a Riddikulus spell from Harry Potter.

The Mother Lode

Welcome in my country – the Czech Republic.

Janet Eats

Ain’t no doubt about it, I hit the best. The BEST, the veritable mother lode of awkward English menus – at a great restaurant in Prague.

There were special categories on the menu for “FEEDERS” – which, after we grilled the waiter (or barbecued him, as one of our guest speakers said this week) – we are pretty sure really meant “foodies.”
But this was my favorite on that multi-lingual ode to gastronomy.
Now doesn’t that just sound delicious? Spicy sausage of the chef. Yum. Yum.

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Without doubts

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They are waiting. Silently. They are calm and quiet. They know, it is coming. The moment of sacrifices. Sacrifices for nothing. Own fame. Own destiny. Own family? No.  Then. There was no family. No space for the family.  They are ready to destroy everything. Including their families, identities, relationships, maybe a planets. Even a galaxies.. They are ready to destroy themselves! There is no question ‘why?’. You know why. You already know the answer. You know the reason. You know what are they. And you know, what will happen with them.
There you are. Smart, maybe with a good heart. You know, you can’t help. And you are afraid, they will get you. Catch you and touch you. That innocent person. Without doubts.
You know how it ends. And you are not the chosen one.

I Was a Bad Rescuer

I always tried to rescue some kind of animal, human or any piece of nature. Here are few examples what I have been doing as a child or an adult and what happened during or after my help.

The Flea Circus (1990)

flea-circusI had read something about a Flea Circus and I wanted to bring it into practice. A perfect host was my aunt’s dog, named Fig. Fig was totally innocent doggie. Very friendly to me as a 3 year old kid, and very kind to his fleas. Fig was so kind, he gifted me few of these fleas. It was pretty awesome!
But for some unidentifiable reason, the fleas didn’t want to listen to me and once my granny discovered them, she destroyed them without a bit of mercy.

 

The White Dog (1992 – 1993)

I lived in white_doga village to my 17. In the a neighboring village there lived a drunkard, who had a beautiful white dog. The dog ran from the owner time by time. It’s a mystery, he always stopped at our place. In that time we had actually no dog. The white dog was cuddly and cute. I always tried to hide him for few hours in the garden or a garage, before it was for him time to go or the drunkard came to look for him. The doggie got hit by car one day on his way from our house.

A Body (1996)

By the walk, through the football ground, I have seen a body lying in the bushes. Then I have seen a local crazy woman walking around, followed by her chicken. They were walking like 5 steps from the bushes.
I was only 9 years old and I didn’t know what to do exactly, so my best idea was to yell at her: “HEY, THAT MAN NEEDS HELP MAYBE! WILL YOU DO SOMETHING?!”. I was scared he was dead or somehow hurt, because he wasn’t able to move. I just knew I shouldn’t touch him or it could be worse. She replied that she will not do that. Everyone else were too far away. So I knew what will work. I started to cry and scream he is dead so i mentally forced her to check that body. She said he is drunk and then left.

The Cat With Broken Paws (1999)

Agcatanatomyain around the football ground i found a cat lying next to the fences. She looked terrible, really dying. I tried to touch her, but she was very angry. Then I have seen, that both her hindpaws were broken. Probably a car accident. By coincidence, that day was a dog’s vaccination in the village. It was a habit in a small village the vet was coming there once per year to vaccinate them against rabies. I have got a brilliant idea. I will take the cat to the vet and he will save her! YES!
I lifted the cat carefully into my arms, but she was totally scared and bit me to my left forefinger and wanted to jump from my arms. The result was she was hanging herself with her teeth on my finger. So I gently tried to put her down, but she did the same with the right forefinger.. Somehow I calmed her down and packed her into my hoodie. With both bleeding forefingers we continued to the place of vaccination. What a mess I made there when I did bring the kitty between 50 angry dogs! Bad Kid.
Besides the vet said if nobody will pay the surgery, he has to kill the cat. I cried. A lot.

The Cat accident teached me a lot, so there was a break for few years.

Turbine (2013 – 2014)

In winter we bought some kind of salad. What was a surprise when we found between the salad leaves a little cute snail! It became our pet and it was almost still sleepy. We named it Turbine (like female equivalent to the Turbo snail. Yes, even we know snails are hermaphrodites :D) and 2 weeks ago we took her to our cottage. The plan was to release her into the nature, where she belongs. We left her on the table in small opened box filled with clay for a few minutes, because we wanted to make a coffee and get some snack first. Unfortunately she left the box by herself and we missed a big life moment of our little snail.

Agnes 2014

pusinkaEverything changed last friday. I WAS A BAD RESCUER. But I am not anymore. We have been thinking about getting a dog almost for a year. We started to investigate more last 2 or 3 months. We wanted to buy this or that, we were sad we cannot afford this or that. Or that dog was too big for our flat. If you have the same feelings – forget it.
Last week we took a cute dog from the dog shelter and she is absolutely AMAZING. I have totally no words for this dog. I have never seen so loyal and lovely dog before. She is totally modest and grateful. I teach her something, she does do it good so I want to give her a reward – a training goody and she doesn’t want it. She is staring at you like – I am not hungry right now, rather cuddle me, human ❤ SHE IS THE BEST DOG EVER! There is just one thing making me sad and that’s the fact we cannot take more than one dog with us… If you are thinking about an expensive cat or dog, please take a look at this picture I took in the shelter and consider first, if you could maybe make someone’s life better. If it could maybe make you happy much more than buying pretty accessories for that cute chihuahua..

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